No matter if you live across town, across the country, or across oceans, chances are you will come to worry about your parents. For me, my parents have aged quickly for their years, and from a few months leading up to my move to London in 2007 until the present time, they have seemed to have one crisis after another.
This past year has been tough on my mother. She has had sepsis twice in the past eight months or so. She refuses to go to the hospital until it is too late to do anything simple. The first time she had sepsis, she left an infection go, and then didn’t tell anyone that she was ill until she was totally out of it and near death. Over Christmas, her doctor wanted her to go into the hospital for her pneumonia, which she refused. Neither time did she get out of going to the hospital. The only thing she avoided was the possibility of getting treated easily.
On top of frustration with doctor phobic parents, there is the lack of information. If I call too much (daily or twice a day when they are at the worst), I feel I am bothering people too much. If I don’t call, I am sure it appears that I don’t care.
Then there is the question of whether to visit or not. Everyone claims that mom is doing fine. I doubt very much though if my help wouldn’t be welcomed by my sister.
Right now mom is looking at a discharge soon, but she has to go back for treatment (heart catheterization being one) because the sepsis caused some heart problems. I am hoping for the best, and for her to be more cooperative, but it still makes me feel guilty about living so far away. Ultimately, it is the best for me, but it doesn’t make the worry and missing my family any easier.